The suitcase was under a pile of winter coats in the closet. If it hadn’t been for the unseasonable weather she might not have found it, noted it’s weight and caved to curiosity.
Inside she found his favourite jeans, some band tees and a couple other items he had claimed to have donated. Tucked in the front pocket was a letter adressed to her.
She was nearly at the end, weeping, when he came home.
“So that’s it?” She said. “You don’t love me anymore?”
“I’m not sure I ever did,” he said. “I just loved you loving me.”
The compliment felt more like an insult now. It had been rattling round her brain like a tiny pebble in her shoe, mostly ignorable but the source of frequent sharp pains. She tried to recall as many gestures and phrases as she could and filtered them through hindsight. Words like ‘ridiculous’ took on completely different meanings depending on tone; had she been misremembering things, hearing what she wanted to?
It was amicable, she had been telling everyone, they’d remain friends she said.
It has been three weeks and the last words he said, that little pebble, is getting harder and harder to ignore.
“No one will ever be good enough for you.”
I sincerely miss learning things, being at University was the best time for me because I finally loved learning and had this desire to know everything; I also had almost unlimited free time to create, critique, find inspiration and experiment, which helped. I have been using a digital camera for a couple of years now and still, for the most part, have no idea how things work so I have taken it upon myself to learn.
This week I’ve been experimenting with post production on my images. Double exposures, lens flair and bokeh are omnipresent in my news feeds and often look incredible. Having only shot film for over a decade I have no idea how to accurately create these effects digitally or outside of the camera so I did what every millennial does when they don’t know something and looked for a tutorial on YouTube.
There are some really great tutorials out there for certain effects so I watched a few and got to experimenting. Above are some examples. I’m not sure these are effects I would want to put on most of my images but I feel a little better now knowing these techniques and being able to just have fun with post production. I’m going to go out and shoot some images this week purely for the purpose of turning them into overlays and see what I can create.
Recently I was tasked with shooting an acoustic show, something I have always found difficult because of the sheer amount of empty space and the fact that most solo performers are not as energetic on stage as full bands, and I was trying to think of ways of making the photos a little more interesting. Some of my photographer friends use prisms to great effect but I have yet to purchase one, what I did have lying around however is a metal guitar slide. I took the slide to the show and experimented with using it to bend the light or obscure the frame in some way. The best effect I found was from shooting through the metal cylinder; if angled right, it would bounce the light around it creating a circular light that occasionally I could focus around the subject. I immediately fell in love with this effect and have been experimenting further with it this past few weeks. Pictured above are some of my favourites.
In the park, under our tree, laying in the slightly damp grass I finally calmed down.
“Remember how we used to do this all the time?”
I turned to gently kiss him on the cheek and I detected an almost microscopic flinch.
“I promise I will be better, I will do better. I want us to go back to how it was before.”
“I want to go back to how I was before I met you.”