I have tried so many times in the past to keep a blog but have invariably failed. Every single time I consider going back to it I get a small pang of sadness at all the posts I never made, all the stories I never wrote down, even if no one ever stumbled across them I feel like I should have created them. I read over the remaining entries and ponder about my past self, knowing full well he spent so much time editing and tweaking these languishing posts that have fewer than a handful of views. He was so full of hope, a little too much maybe. It’s been three years and though I know things have happened along the way, both amazing and not, I can’t help but wonder if my past self thought I would be different by now, and if my future self will think back and notice if he in turn will have changed.
I am starting this blog again because there is something in the atmosphere, or maybe it is just my subconscious, that it making me feel like this year could be pretty important. 2016 was one of the best years for me, career/creativity wise, and I am going to do everything I can to keep that going and improve that this year.
Setting myself up to fail already, I am fully aware that this blog will no doubt end up just being a manifestation of me talking to my inner self, shouts into the void that no one else can hear. Does anyone ever read blogs anymore? So why am I doing this? I think because I know that future me will really appreciate present me, at each stage, documenting things so that future me can look back on it at some point and feel as if he had accomplished something.
At least that’s the hope.